It's that totally inevitable, unavoidable part of being human; it may feel like nausea, dread, be felt all through your body or be just in your head - but it's there and it's very real and often shows up when we are moving out of our comfort zone and dancing on our edge. Working in sexuality and putting on events that are slightly on the boundary pushing side; I speak with a lot of people about fear; the many ways it affects our lives and how we deal with it. What I've seen is most, is that we don't have a balanced relationship with our fear, we've got a kind of dominant-submissive thing going on where fear is kicking our ass and controlling us completely whenever he shows up. I'm very passionate about fear and have found a pretty nice kind of arrangement with the guy so I thought I would share with you today a few tips on ways to help you respond, relate, communicate and ultimately love your fear. this could be when you are thinking about asking someone out, starting a new project, or pondering a confronting workshop or event.
FEAR - THE DO'S AND DONT'S
DON'T believe that fear is ever going to disappear or that you can transcend it and be free.
DO recognise that fear is a part of the evolution and process of growth and is simply a signpost for where you need to go next, and once you get there - as the saying goes...new level, new devil. Learning how to respond and relate when the devil shows up is the key.
DON'T make demands of yourself - or try to force yourself into feeling a certain way about the situation.
DO drop your expectations. Often our fear is due to the expectations and self imposed pressure about how we think we are meant to be or feel (confident, sexy, bold, desirable etc) When you feel fear I suggest exploring the expectations you have on yourself about doing whatever it is you are scared of - and then giving yourself permission to be the opposite and whatever you need to be or do is perfect.