He’s not your knight in shining armour
He’s not your future prince
He’s not your happily ever after fairytale
Here to save you with a kiss.
He’s not the Shiva to your Shakti.
He’s not your twin flame
You’re running your daddy issues with this dude
I’m sorry, but it’s gotta be named.
A free man is one of the most terrifying things for a woman.
Because once a man becomes free,
He cannot be trained,
He cannot be moulded,
He cannot be controlled.
He cannot manipulated into who we want him to be.
You complain that your man isn’t strong enough,
Doesn’t fuck you hard enough, well enough, or frequently enough,
Isn’t strong or passionate or exciting or masculine enough.
You say you want a King who's established and mature.
But what you aren’t getting is the very thing that would make this man all of that and more…
Is also the very thing that when it truly shows up, will threaten to completely destroy your Disney princess fantasy and christian conditioned matrimonies that are keeping it alive.
And that shit is terrifying.
A man who isn’t dependent on mummy's love,
So starving for her nourishment and so scared of its withdrawal that he will do anything to keep it on tap.
A man who tentatively puts all his desires and needs aside for yours,
the strings of your purse tightening around his balls with every ‘yes dear.’
A free man's integrity is more important to him than his need for your approval.
He loves you, but loves himself more.
So I have a confession to make.
As much I am a leader in self expression particularly sexual expression, an advocate and permission granter to all you to put of yourself out there and to not hold back…
There’s something I have been holding back.
About a month ago now I received back some images from a photo shoot I did.
When I received them I gasped. Some of them were SO fucking sexy and I could immediately feel how resistant I was to sharing them with anyone.
Never one to ignore a twinge of resistance I've been pondering this reaction and what underlies it ever since. I've been chatting with different women, picking and clearing through the pieces of my psyche and getting a hold of what lay beneath this fear. I knew this was not the first time I withheld sharing something I really loved of myself – actually, I have lots of videos I film particularly of me dancing and singing and many pictures that have been taken of me that remain hidden away in my computer.
Now for many that might seem normal – as it goes most 'normal' people choose to keep the intimate parts of themselves private and share very little of their deeper selves with the public. But for me – I am a massive advocate of Sharing ALL OF YOU. I believe sharing fully, intimately, honestly about ourselves with others is one way we will really heal this world – because within that sharing we dissolve the separation, we stop being a perfect ‘public figure’ to pedestal and start being a human fucking being. I believe the world is realness deficient and experiencing an authenticity famine and we are CRAVING IT so bad. Craving the nourishment and sigh of relief that comes from recognising through the confessions of another that we aren’t alone.
However what I’ve realised about my theory and how I put it into practice is I am much more comfortable sharing my vulnerabilities and struggles than I am in fully shining and sharing my light – particularly my creative and sexual expression.
Although I am here speaking and claiming and teaching full expression and sexual empowerment. I’m actually shit scared to really put that part of myself out there. Ha ha ha…
And you know why I’m scared?