Anything hiding in the shadows of our psyche that we have cast out as not okay, unloveable or undesirable has power over us.
It blocks our relaxed, natural, authentic, expression,
it cuts off our abundance, our ability to have success and create freely,
it reduces our attractiveness, magnetism and desirability.
It stops our life force from flowing freely.
Loving and embracing all parts of ourselves is huge.
And everyone has a different shadow, shame, kink or block that is particular to them.
What triggers the fuck out of you?
You know what I mean... you're scrolling through your newsfeed and a post from that person pops up.
You want to be cool with it, but instead you have a desire to vomit in your mouth a little, throw something at the computer, or at the very least 'hide' them from coming up in your feed EVER again.
It could be a celebration of their latest business success, a photo of them and their partner on their lovers’ weekend away, or just a statement that really pushes your buttons - your response ranges from minor annoyance that grates on the skin of your soul to total outrage and disgust.
Say hello to your shadow!
The shadow is the repressed, unexpressed, unacknowledged, unowned parts of yourself. Our shadow lives in the place which triggers us, the person who activates us - causing us to feel jealous, threatened, annoyed or pissed off, that person/place/thing that we work really hard to avoid - that's where our shadow lives.
The ultimate reality is that we have every single quality inside of us: we are never light and not dark, happy and not sad, generous and not selfish. We are all of it. Our only suffering comes when we reject something inside of us. Our shadow is what keeps us in the illusion of separateness that I am that, but not that - I call bullshit.
It's that totally inevitable, unavoidable part of being human; it may feel like nausea, dread, be felt all through your body or be just in your head - but it's there and it's very real and often shows up when we are moving out of our comfort zone and dancing on our edge. Working in sexuality and putting on events that are slightly on the boundary pushing side; I speak with a lot of people about fear; the many ways it affects our lives and how we deal with it. What I've seen is most, is that we don't have a balanced relationship with our fear, we've got a kind of dominant-submissive thing going on where fear is kicking our ass and controlling us completely whenever he shows up. I'm very passionate about fear and have found a pretty nice kind of arrangement with the guy so I thought I would share with you today a few tips on ways to help you respond, relate, communicate and ultimately love your fear. this could be when you are thinking about asking someone out, starting a new project, or pondering a confronting workshop or event.
FEAR - THE DO'S AND DONT'S
DON'T believe that fear is ever going to disappear or that you can transcend it and be free.
DO recognise that fear is a part of the evolution and process of growth and is simply a signpost for where you need to go next, and once you get there - as the saying goes...new level, new devil. Learning how to respond and relate when the devil shows up is the key.
DON'T make demands of yourself - or try to force yourself into feeling a certain way about the situation.
DO drop your expectations. Often our fear is due to the expectations and self imposed pressure about how we think we are meant to be or feel (confident, sexy, bold, desirable etc) When you feel fear I suggest exploring the expectations you have on yourself about doing whatever it is you are scared of - and then giving yourself permission to be the opposite and whatever you need to be or do is perfect.