Anything hiding in the shadows of our psyche that we have cast out as not okay, unloveable or undesirable has power over us.
It blocks our relaxed, natural, authentic, expression,
it cuts off our abundance, our ability to have success and create freely,
it reduces our attractiveness, magnetism and desirability.
It stops our life force from flowing freely.
Loving and embracing all parts of ourselves is huge.
And everyone has a different shadow, shame, kink or block that is particular to them.
Whether it be fear of our aggressive side which actually makes us play nice and be a pushover. Or terror of being stupid which makes us not speak up and be an authority. Shame about being too much, Of being too needy, fear of being vulnerable or soft and weak which makes us hide who we are or put up strong armour that is totally exhausting.
Whatever aspect, emotion or energy it is and how we specifically try to deny or reject it it doesn't really matter, it is a kink in the hose of our being.
You see it in kids. The current is flowing through them - there isn't any conditioning around what is okay or not okay they just flow freely between all shades of feeling, moving and being without resistance.
Part of the journey as an adult is to return to that place; with wisdom, discernment and maturity, to return to that same innocence, the same lack of self consciousness and freedom that we were born with - where everything is okay and loveable.
You can find out where your blocks to your life force are are a few ways.
1) Where you judge other people. What you find repulsive. disgusting, triggering in others is generally a pretty clear signal that you feel this way about this part of you.
2) Where you judge yourself. When a part of you comes up, you push it down, try to cover it up or simply hear a really strong critical judgemental voice come up. Anytime you catch yourself saying to yourself 'I shouldn't be so...' Or 'I can't do that or they will think I'm...'
There's the key to your power. There's the thing you actually have to move towards to unblock your life force.
The amount of energy it actually takes to suppress, hold back and reject is huge.
We are everything. dark and light, beautiful and ugly, deeply vulnerable and completely unbreakable.
Loving all of it, that's the answer.
There is always a gift in our shadows. In whatever piece of ourselves or of life we have said no to.
However dark or unfathomable, however seemingly silly, insignificant or even logically unreal your chosen kink is.
Whatever we have repressed OWNS us.
It has control over us, it keeps a part of our essence locked and trapped and we are a slave to it, trying desperately to get away from it, keep it muzzled and leashed, desperately hidden away beneath the surface of our personality as it feeds off our life energy. As long as this continues we will keep attracting other people and situations into our life that hold this frequency to keep triggering us to own it love it, it will keep rearing its head begging to be listened to and learnt from.
Until we face it, feel it, look directly at it and really understand how to work with it and connect to it.
It sucks from us and fucks with us.
Until we can say,
I love you.
I feel you.
I understand you.
I welcome you.
I accept your gifts into my life.
Until we can say all that to every single emotion, feeling, thought, expression.
Until we own and love absolutely all parts of ourselves and others;
We will never be free.
What part of you do deem 'not okay' or worthy of your love?
Naming it out loud is the first step in becoming free.