What triggers the fuck out of you?
You know what I mean... you're scrolling through your newsfeed and a post from that person pops up.
You want to be cool with it, but instead you have a desire to vomit in your mouth a little, throw something at the computer, or at the very least 'hide' them from coming up in your feed EVER again.
It could be a celebration of their latest business success, a photo of them and their partner on their lovers’ weekend away, or just a statement that really pushes your buttons - your response ranges from minor annoyance that grates on the skin of your soul to total outrage and disgust.
Say hello to your shadow!
The shadow is the repressed, unexpressed, unacknowledged, unowned parts of yourself. Our shadow lives in the place which triggers us, the person who activates us - causing us to feel jealous, threatened, annoyed or pissed off, that person/place/thing that we work really hard to avoid - that's where our shadow lives.
The ultimate reality is that we have every single quality inside of us: we are never light and not dark, happy and not sad, generous and not selfish. We are all of it. Our only suffering comes when we reject something inside of us. Our shadow is what keeps us in the illusion of separateness that I am that, but not that - I call bullshit.
You are Everything - you are weak and strong, a star and a nobody, sexy and ugly, greedy and giving, honest and a liar - YOU ARE ALL OF IT and that is when you are free. Until you acknowledge your shadow side and own it as yours, you will be constantly spending energy being triggered and avoiding it - it actually takes a lot of energy to reject a part of yourself. The purpose of life as a human being is to become fully integrated, whole, accepting and loving of all sides and parts of you - and the shadow is showing you the way!
Our shadow triggers are often exactly what we are longing for in ourselves that we haven't acknowledged, or something that we don't like in ourselves that we don't want to admit.
A friend of mine re-added me to Facebook this morning after seeing me on the weekend at a seminar. I didn't even know she had deleted me and was confused at first when I saw the friend request. She confessed that she had seen me post something on my wall about my relationship and sexuality a while ago which she couldn't bear to read.
I know that feeling - scrolling through the newsfeed looking to 'like' it's often what 'don't like' that has just as much juice for us. What triggers us is a big fat arrow pointing to our next growth point - the next place an opportunity to grow and open into being more fully integrated, accepting, and whole within ourselves.
Be curious about your triggers as they are unique to you and are giving you messages all the time. The most empowering way I live my life is ‘It's not about them - it's about me!’ There are douchebags everywhere, it's true, but if that particular douchebag is really grating on you then there's something there for you to explore, I can guarantee it.
So - What's your shadow?
What or who is pissing you off right now?
What quality or trait is it that particularly gets you going?
How do you feel about this part of you? Can you see how you may be secretly deep down really longing for it, or that it's a part of you that is there but you really don't want to acknowledge?
Whatever it is - Own it. Take it out for tea!
Love it. Accept it - Bless it - Embrace it.
Dig so deep into yourself to find the places in you that are exactly that!
Make friends with your shadow.
It holds the key to your freedom I promise.