Needs vs. Addictions - Getting Clear About The Health Of Your Desires.

What is the difference between having needs…and being needy?

Having things you want….and having addictions?

When your need is healthy and when is it really not serving you?

Can you tell the difference within yourself? 

Or do you judge your natural human desires as unhealthy, addictive or codependent?

Do you convince yourself your addictions to food are good for you when really they aren't?

Getting in a healthy relationship with needs and desires can be really challenge to truly know when they serve us and when they screw us.
And it's not surprising really...When as children, we have so often been taught and had it modelled to us to deny them; to give them up, reject them, suppress them, feel bad about them.

Having really clear and healthy relationship with them is often something that we have to re-learn as adults.

In relationship to food, sex, relationships, work..all of it.

A very wise person said something to me which has become a very powerful barometer and understanding for how I live my life and relate with what I want.

Healthy needs always lead to wellness.

Addictions…don’t.

I'm going to repeat that because it's extremely powerful.

Healthy needs always lead to wellness.

When I was going through a big breakup with an ex partner of mine.

There was hardcore addiction going on, wanting to check his facebook page every few minutes, have draining phone conversations about meeting or not meeting up, blabbing on with my friends about all the little bullshit details of our ending... none of it resulted in feeling very good, but there was some superficial satisfaction when I did get my hit and it was a challenge to resist it.

But what really resulted in my deepest wellness was my need to be alone, with a glass of wine, chocolate, an open fire, a bath and my grief. Even amongst the intensity of the emotions, there was a nourishment and satisfaction in the latter option.

When you are addicted your need is tense and tainted with anxiety, there may an initial sigh of relief, pleasure or a rush to the body of feel good chemicals when you first meet that need.  But it doesn’t take long for you to end up feeling empty or dissatisfied or just plain gross.

So, choosing wellness…. it's JUST like choosing between a gourmet, home cooked organic meal rather than greasy takeaway pizza, right?

Well, no, not necessarily.

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