Rushing, stressing moving in the world as if it’s going to end today. Overwhelmed, frazzled, busy as fuck Moving like your life depends on getting to the end of some illusionary finish line.
Doesn't matter what it is really, There's a stressful tempo of go, go, go. Urgently, frantically, ON
Rushing through your shower, your breakfast, sex, the next big project, all the things that need doing and deciding and finishing. Regularly arriving late and breathless, cramming for a deadline, cumming hard and fast for the finish line. Adrenaline, caffeine, cortisol, addicted to the rush of chaos, passionate triggers, tight tension and the weight of responsibility
Dear life, Thank you for loving me. When you are stroking and caressing me and I am purring. When you are kicking the living shit out of me and I am bruised, beaten and hurting. When you are bringing me more pleasure and joy than I think is possible. When you are threatening to destroy and dismantle everything that I hold close.
THANK YOU for loving me.
When I’m abandoned and when I’m welcomed. When I am terrified and when I am unstoppable. When I am deeply seen and when I am painfully ignored. Every. single. moment.
Thank you for your love.
I know I’ve been ferociously fighting you for so long. Fists clenched at eye height, taking you on. I’ve been resisting you, manipulating you, Controlling you (at least attempting too!) Protecting myself from the scary unknown of you. Desperately scrambling for a way out. Scanning constantly for the eject button. White knuckles clinging to your edges in panic. Terrified to really rest back, to let go and fall into you
A free man is one of the most terrifying things for a woman.
Because once a man becomes free, He cannot be trained, He cannot be moulded, He cannot be controlled. He cannot manipulated into who we want him to be.
You complain that your man isn’t strong enough, Doesn’t fuck you hard enough, well enough, or frequently enough, Isn’t strong or passionate or exciting or masculine enough. You say you want a King who's established and mature.
But what you aren’t getting is the very thing that would make this man all of that and more… Is also the very thing that when it truly shows up, will threaten to completely destroy your Disney princess fantasy and christian conditioned matrimonies that are keeping it alive.
And that shit is terrifying.
A man who isn’t dependent on mummy's love, So starving for her nourishment and so scared of its withdrawal that he will do anything to keep it on tap. A man who tentatively puts all his desires and needs aside for yours, the strings of your purse tightening around his balls with every ‘yes dear.’ A free man's integrity is more important to him than his need for your approval. He loves you, but loves himself more.
Dance and grind down the divine for you? Gifting you with her opening, Blessing you with her pleasure. Have you ever? Have you ever had a woman dance for you? Setting you free from your mind with the softness of her thighs, Cumming in service to your consciousness. In sensual devotion to your depth.
Have you ever?
Have you ever had a woman reveal who you are with her ripple of her flesh? Every flick of her hair and curve of her hip. Every inch of her, in service to you. Have you ever had a woman dance you back home into yourself with her sex?
There was no one for miles, Just her and the trees. The sky, birds and earth hold her intensity. No one to hush her quiet, Shame her into silence, Be disturbed by her wildness. No one.
She begins to breathe, Deep and long, taking herself to the edge and beyond. She runs her hands up her body and she calls to the sky, Her wild heart awoken, Legs open, She flies.
Her wide hips begin to shake, Her thrusting, rocking quake, Rotating and grinding into the earth. Back arching, arms flailing, she curls her fingers into the dirt. Teeth bared and eyes alight, with guttural groans, She fucks herself to life. Leaves and twigs stick to her tangled hair, that splays out behind her like snakes, Her full mouth foaming, ecstatic state. She's wailing, shrieking, Stopping for no one, Energy peaking.
She cums and cums and cums until there is nothing left but her continuing deafening scream of YES. Engulfed and exploded into light and energy, She lets all of existence rip through her, Every cell alive and throbbing and pulsating with life, Taking her completely, violently, blissfully. She surrenders her will to all of creation coming through her coming through her cumming.
Last night, You opened. Like you never have before.
You bared your body, your heart, your spirit and soul.
Last night, You got vulnerable. You went to places way beyond who you thought you were. Unleashed this new possibility of yourself out into the world. Last night, You expressed your full power, Lit up by your own expansion, Amazing, exhilarating, ecstasy. That left you,
Buzzing. And this morning. You wake, with a sinking feeling in your stomach. Flashbacks coming in. remembering it all. Asking yourself.
'What the hell was THAT?'
Well my friend; Your fixed self concept got absolutely fucking smashed last night. Downing shots of love, Taking swigs of pleasure, Skulling bottles of bliss,
Until it was passed out unconscious on the floor somewhere...
Last night your true essence was given full permission to play.
And oh did she play.
She danced all night. In reckless, wild, abandon. Made love with the universe, with everyone and everything. ...without protection.
And now, You're not so sure... Not convinced, Something that seemed so breathtakingly freeing Now feels a bit seedy, A bit cringey and freaky.