This is a picture of me 5 hours after I had just taken myself through one of the most profound healing processes of my life.
Earlier that morning I had been on all fours feeling like I was going to vomit, making sounds that resembled something between a dying animal and a screaming child and far from the butterfly lightness and joy I was experiencing when this photo was taken.
I had woken up that morning with something deep stirring in my heart.
I wasn’t sure what it was, but I felt that feeling of something being off; there was a bit of anxiety and uneasiness in my body and my mind was agitated.
As I rode my bike down to the beach and curiously began checking inside myself what was going on.
Soon enough, I could feel it all beginning to bubble up, tears started to flow and it started to become clearer what was going on and that something big was coming to the surface to be healed.
As I rode, I let this part of me speak, hearing exactly what it was saying and feeling without judgement.
I let that part of me bawl and wail all the way to the beach before finding a spot by the ocean to continue the process.
What then transpired was about an hour or more of the most healing and profound self guided sessions I’ve ever had.
Realisations of patterns I have had for my entire life revealing themselves, shadows I had no idea were there letting themselves be known, things I’d never felt being expressed, new healthy parts coming on board, new ways of being anchored.
When I finished I felt different on all levels, like a complete rearranging had happened inside of myself and I had this deep inner knowing and awareness that things would never be the same again.
I literally high fived myself when I got home for my capacity and ability to be able to do that for myself. To be able to facilitate that level of healing and change in my own being.
I used to be a bit judgemental of the whole “healing” thing despite very much taking part in it for the past ten years, I think in some way I secretly feared it was just this never ending navel gazing, self indulgent process that had no end and was just a way to make money off each other.
Yet as I write this today, after years of doing the work.
I am finally getting to the point where I genuinely feel whole, happy and balanced in myself 95 percent of the time.
Sure things still come up, but my capacity to use the tools I have to move through what’s there as I did on Monday, is fast, smooth and effective.
The other beef I had with the term healing was that I felt it somehow pointed to the fact that myself or others were broken.
And while the reality is yes at our true essence and core we are pure and complete, we sadly live in a society and culture that has broken us in many ways or have grown up in environments and had experiences that have fucked us up and that can’t be denied.
Now than ever I look around at the world and I see the desperate need for deep deep healing.
I see so many hurt people acting out in pain, so much trauma and wounding that is resulting in people turning on themselves or each other.
People who don’t have the tools to feel, the ability to hold themselves, to cognitively work through their issues or be with their bodies at all, people who have zero connection to something beyond themselves and an ability to receive the loving support that is available to them from other humans or other realms.
If we are dissatisfied with the current state of the world and want to be part of creating a a new earth then we better be willing to embody that frequency in ourselves first.
And that my friends, requires HEALING.
I believe that healing is possible and it is a profoundly worthy endeavour to take.
We all deserve to live feeling whole, happy, complete within ourselves and when we do that ripples out to all the people, places and things we come into contact with.
Healing is powerful.
And I am here for it.
I am here for that in myself,
I’m here for that in others.
And that is why I am now proud to say that I am a healer.
It’s been an absolute honour to return to 1:1 healing work over the past six months and be part of people’s healing journeys, to witness humans capacity to transform and to fully embrace this as one of the gift that I can give the world has been amazing.
Today I want to honour myself and all the healers who have and continue to do the work on themselves to then be wayshower for others.
Today I want to celebrate the power of healing.
I also want to share for anyone who may be struggling and need to hear it;
Do not be ashamed of your desire and need for healing, in a world that has broken you.
It’s okay to need that support, it is not self indulgent but actually extremely wise to recognise you need to actually do the work on yourself before you can give to others in a way that is healthy and sustainable.
We are all doing what we need to to come home to ourselves and remember who we are and it is vital to be of any use, especially in these times.
You’re doing amazing.
I love you.