Im not too proud to admit.
It’s sometimes scary being a single woman in these times.
Under no mans protection,
With only yourself or the government to provide.
To be alone as a woman,
when there is so much unknown.
Wondering when the end of the world comes,
Will I be all alone?
I’m not too proud to admit.
Sometimes I feel vulnerable as fuck.
Sometimes my whole system gets paralysed in overwhelm and I feel frozen and stuck.
I’ve done work in sovereignty,
On inner union and self love.
But at times like these I just really need a man hug.
Strong arms to surround me and hold me,
And tell me it's all going to be okay.
To have someone to lean on when it’s been a really hard day.
There’s some part of my animal body that knows this isn’t right.
Like I’m in this continual subtle sense of fight or flight.
Even just hearing a mans voice right now,
My body relaxes and gets soft.
Like there’s some subtle chemical hormones that know he’s got something I haven’t got.
I don’t care what the spiritual people say,
That I’m not meant to need a man.
That there must be more work to do,
because I’m feeling this way.
I’m not too proud to admit,
That sometimes I feel incomplete.
Making all my own decisions
It’s an exhausting feat.
Sometimes there’s just too many options,
And I don’t know what to do
And I wish it wasn’t just an ‘I’- but a me and a you.
And as times get more crazy with lock downs and laws.
I feel this incredible tenderness exposed,
That a part of me would love to ignore.
But I can’t act like it’s not there,
This deep longing and ache.
To not be in this alone in this chaos,
To want to a partnership that’s stable and safe.
And they say,
“Just stay at home in your bubble and it will all be fine”
But right now I can’t help but notice
that there’s no one in mine.
And as things get more and more apocalyptic,
I can no longer maintain some kind of strong woman bravado
That I’m always doing okay.
To admit you need a man seems to be the ultimate blasphemy of this time,
What our ancestors worked so hard against,
The ultimate feminist crime.
Yet here I am a single woman in lock down,
Doing the best I can,
And right now I’m not too proud to admit
that sometimes I really do need a man.
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Take Care of each Other People!